My Year of 4 a.m. Mornings
I woke up every morning at 4 a.m. to meditate…this is what happened.
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I have always been a morning person. Nothing invigorates me more than waking up each morning, making my cup of coffee, and getting after the day. It is a common trait of high achievers to wake up at early hours of the morning that might seem insane to us normal folk. While my usual wake-up time is around 7 a.m. these days, there was a time in my life spanning a year long where I woke up every single morning at 4 a.m. to meditate. I learned a lot during this season of my life, and feel my findings are worth sharing.
Here is my story…
It was March 2020. The pandemic had just begun. I was living in Los Angeles in a 3 bedroom, 1 bath apartment with two other roommates. Everything in the world had seemingly come to a stop, and the uncertainty felt suffocating at times. There was a craving inside of me for meaning and structure that I had no idea how to create since we were told to stay inside our homes 24/7. But as it sometimes goes in life, once I set the intention that I wanted to experience something, the seas parted and the solution plopped right in front of me.
I came across an online course for women called Benshen Course, which is all about female empowerment through the teachings of Kundalini Yoga. Kundalini Yoga is a form of yoga that involves mantra, breathwork, and different poses. I was instantly hooked and found great joy in connecting with a new community of woman who all shared the same interest of self-development. The Kundalini yoga meditations we did were extremely powerful, and I was amazed by the benefits I gained from just a short meditation each morning. Lets just say, I drank the Kundalini kool-aid. The teachings of Benshen Course had a profound effect on me to say the least, but I found myself wanting more. I had this yearning to go deeper into the practices of Kundalini Yoga, and one morning during a meditation it came to me… It was time to sign up for a teacher training!
Once I set the intention that I wanted to experience something, the seas parted and the solution plopped right in front of me.
Never in my life did I ever think I would find myself signing up for any type of yoga teacher training, but there I was, more eager to do something than ever. I signed up for teacher training with Siri Rishi Kaur, who I now consider my teacher. The teacher training was a HUGE 4 month commitment, which was perfect because I craved commitment at that time in my life. Kundalini Yoga also comes with a set of teachings and practices that you can carry out in your daily life. One of which is something called Sadhana, which is when you wake up at 4 a.m. and meditate as the sun rises. At first, the thought of doing Sadhana sounded completely crazy and unnecessary, but it was a requirement with the course, so I thought to myself “I’ll give it a try.”
The night before I did my first Sadhana, I set my alarm for 4 a.m. and placed my headphones next to my bed in an attempt to set myself up for success in the best way I knew how. Determined to keep my word to myself, I perked right up the moment my alarm went off the following morning, situated myself upright, and began to meditate. It was the deepest meditation I had ever experienced in my life. I meditated for two and a half hours until 6:30 a.m. After I had completed my mission, I was surprised that I had an unexpected energy coursing through my veins. I went throughout my day with such clarity and purpose. I literally felt high all day long. They say the reason why we meditate so early in the morning, is to harness the power of the sun as it rises. Perhaps it was that. I also feel that when you set your mind on doing something that feels like a challenge, and you keep your word to yourself by following through, you gain loads of confidence and self-esteem.
I returned to my yoga mat the next morning… and then the next, and the next, until waking up at 4 a.m. to mediate just became a way of life. I enjoyed Sadhana because it was my time alone with myself that was completely free from distraction. It was special. I loved the feeling of being awake during a time of darkness when everyone else was asleep. It felt like something I could hold onto during a really tough season of life. Starting the morning with this powerful practice really empowered me to keep my focus on how I can grow and evolve each day. I made some major life changes during the year I did Sadhana. But I will say, over time, the inevitable happened…. I got tired. I began to not feel as energized as I did in the beginning of my journey. While the pandemic was happening it was easy to get in bed at 8 p.m. and wake up at 4 a.m., but as time went on and the world began to open up again, my desire to stay up later came back as well. I found myself extremely sleep deprived but refused to take afternoon naps in the fear of not being productive during the day. I held onto my morning practice for dear life, even when it crossed the line into no man’s land.
We can’t expect the world to show up for us if we don’t show up for ourselves first.
I remember the first day I didn’t wake up at 4 a.m. to meditate. It wasn’t planned. I didn’t beat myself up for sleeping in. Part of me just knew that it had run its course. For about 6 months after I stopped doing Sadhana at 4 a.m., it was difficult to wake up at a decent hour. I could have slept all day and felt like my body was catching up on rest. I allowed myself to get the rest my body so desperately needed and adjusted my meditation schedule to meditating for about 20 to 30 minutes once I woke up. This felt good to me. It was way more balanced than the extreme.
If I could go back, I would still wake up at 4 a.m. every morning of that year. What I gained from that practice is worth its weight in gold. I still meditate daily, and I do wake up at 4am some mornings when I feel called to or it’s a big astrological day like the Equinox. And who knows, I might go through another extended period of time where I do 4am Sadhana again. I am open to it all. Kundalini yoga and taking Siri Rishi Kaur’s teacher training truly did get me through an extremely dark time in my life, and I am forever grateful. The biggest takeaway I have from this experience is the lesson that life is ever changing and will hand us circumstances where we might require more support than usual. We can’t expect the world to show up for us if we don’t show up for ourselves first. And sometimes, we are all we have. My devotion to this morning practice showed the universe that I was ready to be supported by forces I had yet to see. And those forces came. I am eternally grateful.
-Reid
P.S. If you are interested in learning more about Kundalini Yoga, let me know, and I will plan future posts on sharing more.
This is epic!! 4am wake up calls are no joke but I can imagine how amazing you felt with the consistency and starting your days with a clean and clear headspace!!
What an incredible experience that must’ve been!